The Omnigeek

We have long envisioned Santa Claus as a jolly fat man in a red suit with elves and magical reindeer spending their lives making wooden trains and so on.

Well that was the old Santa who made toys for your parents. Today, kids want toys from Mattel and Hasbro. They are un-happy with generic dolls and jack-in-the-box’s. Elves don’t make Transformers or stitch Barbie’s latest fashions.

Santa realizing this to be the case several years ago, seeing his stock of trains, wagons, and nut cracker’s build up in his warehouse decided to reorganize. Santa now runs a large toy distribution system and it works like this.

You, the child take your parents to special viewing centers where you can see what toys Santa has available this year. These viewing centers are known as Toys ‘R Us, Walmart and so on. Santa allows your parents to have Christmas year round by selecting toys right away for you. But for Christmas, which is the special time, your parents can request what you want and send that information to Santa.

You used to have to write a letter to Santa letting him know what you want, but now, you can just tell your parents or show them. Santa, who now lives in a large office in Fargo, North Dakota. Its disguised, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. Look for a building with a big “Citicorp” sign. He uses a special card that he gives to each parent. They can use that card and let Santa know the right house, kid, and items that he is to deliver on Christmas night.

Your parents can use this special card while in the viewing centers to tell Santa what you need, or then can use their computer to tell Santa your holiday wishes.

Once your parents use the card to enter the information into Santa’s computers, the order goes to the Elves in North Dakota. They processes the orders and send them on to Elves located regionally. Because the world is so large and the toys no longer come from Santa’s workshop, the local elves handle bringing the toys to your house. They however can’t be seen while delivering the toys, so the sleighs have been disguised as are the elves. They use a brown truck and dress in brown clothes to help hide themselves better.

Santa also employees sub-Santa’s to work at the malls in case you want to get your wish list directly to Santa and not go through your parents. This local Santa will send your Christmas needs to Santa to be entered into the system.

Everything runs seamlessly with this system and you stand a good chance at getting your Darth Vadar talking mask this holiday season instead of a pretty red wooden nut cracker.

Once basketball season ends in Kentucky, life turns towards Kentucky’s other sporting passion, Horse Racing. Kentucky is known as the horse capital of the world, known for its picturesque plank fenced horse farms sprawling over rolling hills of Kentucky Blue Grass.

In Kentucky, horses are raced, trotted, shown, jumped and danced. Horses of all breads and pedigree can be found on farms all across the state. There are however two major concentrations of Equine activity: Lexington and Louisville.

Lexington’s sphere of influence includes Keenland, a popular thoroughbred racing track and home to the annual Yearling Sales, where the best 1 year olds are auctioned off from the breeding farms to the owners who will eventually race them. The Kentucky Horse Park is located just north of Lexington and while a state park, it is home to various major equestrian events and has hosted the US Olympic Horse Trials and will be hosting the FEI World Games in 2010. Lexington is surrounded by horse farms. The major equine research facilities and horse database companies are located there as well.

But this time of year, the attention turns to Louisville when the greatest of horse races is run on the 1st Saturday in May, the Kentucky Derby. Ran at historic Churchill Downs in the center of Louisville, the Derby is led up to by a two week festival for the race.

My wife and I have traveled to Louisville to participate in these events and today, we chased hot air balloons during the “Great Balloon Race”. You can read about the chase at http://www.robmiracle.com. The chase carried us to an area with several horse stables north east of Louisville.

One of our missions this week is to photograph horses when and where we can and well, I had a camera and there were horses. With the Balloon race over, and before having to travel two hours south to visit with my family, it was horse photo time. Strapping on my telephoto lens to shoot horses at a distance, I snapped a few shots of a group of horses in one field. I then moved to a small black plank fenced field that contained a couple of horses, one white, one chestnut.

Immediately, the white horse took attention to me and decided I was interesting, perhaps it was my bright red Carolina Hurricanes shirt (I write this from a sports bar watching the Canes play the Devils) or perhaps it was my movement, or the horse was naturally curious or a camera hog.

He got within petting distance and turned his left neck toward me, obviously wanting petted. This horse has spent a lot of time around people. I obliged, petting his neck for a few seconds and as I pulled my hand away, he turned his head toward me and nuzzled me square in the face with his big and very wet nose.

I had been slimed . . . by a horse.

I was stunned for a moment as this came completely out of the blue.

The only thing I could think of was “Lucy” from Peanuts and the dog kisses Snoopy laid on her over the years: “Oh horse kiss. Gross. Bring the disinfectant.” Sherry, my wife was laughing hysterically at the scene and retold the story dozens of times to family and total strangers as the day progressed.

The white horse and his stable mate stayed near by. I regained my composure, switched over to a wide angle lens and shot the horses close up.

We wanted to see some horses and this was definitely “seeing” some horses.

A lot of people get laughs from CBS’s “The Big Bang Theory” where an apartment full of “geeks” have their adventures with their neighbor, an attractive “normal” woman. Stereotypes aside (the geeks are portrayed as nerds, the woman a blond), the show does have a lot of good wit based around geeks fascination with speaking in tech and precision.

For instance in this weeks episode, Sheldon, the super genius astrophysicist is trying to describe to Penny, the normal, how to open a Chinese Puzzle Box. “Move the top panel 2 millimeters to the left, then move the side panel 4mm to the right (or some such very precise measurements)” Sheldon instructed over a phone. Penny frustrated by the geek speak asked if he was attached to the box and when Sheldon said “No”. She stomped the box to open it.

It was a funny moment with geeks and normals laughing at the scenario but its a perfect example of the communication barrier often faced by people when there is a huge separation in IQ.

The classic example of this was Albert Einstein. Even among his peers, his ability to understand physics was so far advanced, most people in the physics community dismissed them. It would take years before physicists would come to embrace his work.

Why does this communication break down?

The main reason for this is that most geek’s enjoy science and science is about accuracy and precision of measurements. There is an old saying:

When cutting a log, measure with a micrometer, mark with chalk, cut with an Axe

In this case if you’re going to cut the log with a very imprecise tool like an axe, why are you measuring to millimeter accuracy? Because thats what scientists do: They measure accurately.

True Story: My wife (a Normal) and I were heading home from work. She was driving. My son called and asked when we would be home. My response was “We will be there in 97 seconds.” Sherry goes “Where did you pull that pile of stuff from?” I responded thats how long it will take for us to get home. 97 seconds later, she had stopped in the drive. 97 seconds is very precise but most people are not used to hearing that. “A couple of minutes” would have gone over much better with her. She still shakes her head at me when I come up with these seemingly random responses.

The Planes of Thought

NOTE: The following are my original thoughts and will come off as pure BS, buyer beware, Copyright © 2002-2009 Rob Miracle, All Right Reserved, Trade Mark, Patent Pending

Imagine a world where there are different Planes of Thought. These planes are where the mass of the population’s “smarts” are currently massed. Generations of people are smarter than their previous generation. For instance today, we have cell phones and text messages and we can use the Internet and you know what a mouse is and how to use it.

But go back 100 years to 1909 when we were amazed that a buggy could run without a horse, discussions of your mouse and your USB Key or your DVR would make you almost incommunicable with the people of that time. Yet they were as a population considerably smarter than those around in 1809 when the idea of communicating to distant cities with a telephone would be near magic.

This is demonstrated by Arthur C. Clarke’s quote:

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

If we look at each of these era’s as a plane, there will always be one above where we are now and the past era’s planes below us.

People on one plane cannot effectively communicate with someone on another plane. The tech speak, the new words that come into the vocabulary, etc. make this communications hard.

Of course basic communications, like “Hello Grandma, how are you?” will work, but the more complex vocabulary hinders effectiveness and its frustrating on both sides.

Because it takes time for scientific language to become common language, those that talk in geek speak tend to be on these other planes. Eventually society as a whole will catch up.

Ladders

In addition to imagining the planes, you also have to imagine a series of ladders that connect the two planes. Some people live on these ladders. If they climb to the top, they pass to the higher plane and can no longer effectivally communicate back to the lower plane. People who are climbing the ladders exist in both planes at the same time and can reasonably communicate in either direction.

Back to the “Big Bang Theory” example. Sheldon and Penny can’t understand why the other one does or says the things they do. But Sheldon’s roommate Lenoard is on a ladder and is a bridge between the two. He can explain Sheldon to Penny and Penny to Sheldon.

A Joke!

A helicopter pilot was giving a ride to a businessman in the Seattle area when a heavy fog set in and they couldn’t figure out how to get back to the airport. The pilot spots an office building with workers in the windows and he hovers into place. After getting their attention he asks “Where am I?”. A worker yells back “Your in a Helicopter”. The pilot says thank you and flies away saying he knows where he is now. The businessman has a stunned look on your face and asks the pilot “How do you know where we are?” The pilot responds: “we are over Microsoft’s campus. They gave me a technically correct but utterly useless answer.”

That’s one of my favorite jokes, not just because it disses Microsoft but it points out the communication problem. Because geeks tend to be precise, they don’t think in generalities. In this case the pilot would assume he would get the answer of Redmond or Microsoft’s Campus and had he been talking to non-geeks, he would have gotten a general answer to his question.

This precision is part of what forms the barrier between the layers. Its also the reason geeks tend to migrate to computers, even at an early age. Computers are very simple devices but they are very precise. In fact, they may be the ultimate in precision since they only understand “Yes” and “No”. There are no maybes to a computer.

While geeks tend to be slobs and not care much about personal appearance, they are actually very well ordered thinkers. Much like computers which process things in a logical manner, geeks seek logic in things. I’ve always thought my quest to see logic in things had to do with watching too much Star Trek as a kid and a fascination with “Mr. Spock”. Geeks see things in our world that make no sense to them and they spend considerable mental energy to solve the problem or write it of as non-important. This is were the slob nature comes in. Its not important so geeks spend no time on it.

Between their scientific vocabulary, their logical thought process and their need for precision there will always be a rift between geeks and normals. Eventually the normals will ascend to the next plane but when they get there, they will find the geeks have also ascended to yet another plane continuing the cycle.